These are the days of our lives
by Lothiriel84
Summary: A collection of one-shots about Jane and Lisbon - random moments from the various seasons and even later on...
1. One step forwards, two steps back

_**Author's**__** note: **written for the Prompt Table activity on the Paint It Red Forum - prompt: "One step forwards, two steps back"_

_(episode tag to 1x23 - "Red John's Footsteps")  
_

* * *

**One step forwards, two steps back**

"_Can't you see there's people who care about you? Who need you? You're being selfish and childish and I want you to stop it."_

"_I wish that I could, but, you know, some things you just can't fix."_

Those words played on his mind again and again as he idly watched the police bustling around.

He couldn't stop. He just couldn't.

A small part of him felt sorry for the people who actually cared about him.

His colleagues – his friends.

Lisbon was on top of that list, of course. A pity that she still refused to acknowledge she couldn't fix this.

Couldn't fix _him_.

He was too broken for that. The shadow of a man – who only kept on breathing in order to get his revenge.

They'd been so close this time. Red John was there. If only Lisbon could have helped stepping in to save him…

He didn't deserve to be saved. Didn't give a damn for his own miserable life.

Achieving his goal was well worth dying for.

Yeah, they still had Hardy. Maybe, just maybe, they were going to get something out of him.

Somehow he found it hard to believe though.

His eyes strayed to where the man was lying. As he caught a sudden, unexpected movement his brain reacted of its own accord.

He grabbed the nearest gun and fired without a second thought.

As he saw Hardy collapsing to the ground he just panicked – throwing the gun as far away from him as possible.

No. The only link that might have led him to Red John couldn't slip through his fingers like that.

He desperately pressed his hand on the man's wound – no matter if he knew there was nothing he could do about that.

Hardy mocked him one last time before his body went limp all of a sudden.

That's how things were always going. Every time he thought he was stepping closer to his nemesis, he found himself back to where he'd started. Or even farther away than that – were this possible.

Well, Lisbon was still alive at the very least. He simply wouldn't have had it any other way.

Jane wondered for a moment when – and how – his revenge had taken a backseat to the woman's safety.

He couldn't tell whether he was fine with this unexpected turn of things or not. He just had a feeling he wouldn't be able to do anything about it either way…


	2. By the book

_**Author's**__** note: **written for the Prompt Table activity on the Paint It Red Forum - prompt: "By the book"_

_(episode tag to 2x03 - "Red Badge")_

* * *

**By the book**

"_You know, for a cop, you made a very convincing lunatic. Jane must be proud."_

"_Maybe it's not good police work, but I have to confess, I enjoyed it. Letting loose for once."_

Yeah, what she had told Sam was the simple truth. Faking her breakdown had been fun.

Almost cathartic as a matter of fact.

For years she had done her best to follow the rules. That didn't prevent someone from trying to frame her for a murder she didn't commit.

Smashing her office window with a chair had been the best part of it all. Along with saying half-truths to Dr. Carmen – her voice shaking as if she was really on the verge of committing suicide.

Watching the man's face as she finally laid her cards on the table was absolutely priceless.

Now here she was again, in the shelter of her office. All she had to do was bottling up the whirlwind of emotions that the whole business had stirred inside her.

Fear. Anger. Helplessness. And – above all – loneliness.

Of course the members of her team had done their best in order to help her. Minelli. Bosco.

It was Jane the one who saved the day though.

She still recalled how vulnerable she'd felt when he had hold her in his arms – shortly before hypnotizing her. Vulnerable, fragile… yet she hadn't been afraid of him for once.

He'd kept on speaking with his soothing voice – telling her that everything was going to be alright. And she'd felt… _safe_.

That was the most absurd thing of all. For she still couldn't trust him completely.

Yet she'd felt safe into his arms all the same.

Well, it actually didn't matter. She hoped there would be no need to go along with another of his wild schemes in the near future.

Going back to solid police work was much of a relief after all.


	3. Rules of the game

_**Author's**__** note: **written for the Prompt Table activity on the Paint It Red Forum - prompt: "Rules of the game"_

_(episode tag to 3x23 - "Strawberries and Cream")_

* * *

**Rules of the game**

"_You have two choices – disarm the bomb, or die here with us."_

"_With me. Jane, you go, now!"_

"_Oh, I would if I could."_

Now that they had come out of it alive he couldn't help brooding over his own words.

For it was pretty much obvious that he simply wasn't able to step aside when Lisbon's life was at stake. No matter how much of a physical coward he usually was.

Lisbon was his best friend. Despite all the times he'd infuriated her – especially when he disobeyed her direct orders, putting his or someone else's life in danger – she was still willing to put up with him.

There was no way he would let anybody do her harm.

The twisted game he kept on playing with a serial killer had very few rules. Doing his best to protect Lisbon was one of these few.

He couldn't afford losing her as well. He just couldn't.

Lisbon was the single person who managed to keep him sane after all. And he was known for being horribly selfish – wasn't he?

That's why he wouldn't give her up so easily.

He really hoped he was going to catch Red John this time. Lisbon would be finally safe if he did – no matter what was going to happen to him afterwards.

A smile crept on his face as he remembered what he'd promised her long ago.

"_I'm always going to save you, Lisbon – whether you like it or not."_

Maybe he'd be able to achieve his revenge and keep that promise at the same time…


	4. A storm in a teacup

_**Author's**__** note: **written for the Prompt Table activity on the Paint It Red Forum - prompt: "A storm in a teacup"_

_(episode tag to 4x01 - "Scarlet Ribbons")_

* * *

**A storm in a teacup**

"_You got your vengeance. Do you feel different? Feel better?"_

"_No. I feel guilty."_

"_Guilty? Why?"_

"_For deceiving the jury. I mean, I had no choice. Going to prison for murder would have been a victory for Red John."_

"_What do you mean? Red John's dead."_

"_Timothy Carter's dead. He was an evil man, but he wasn't Red John. Red John is still alive. Watch the road."_

She really felt like she was drowning. The nightmare she had thought to be finally over… well, it wasn't over at all.

Here they were again – right back to where they started. Chasing a serial killer who could as well be a ghost – given how he kept on eluding each and every effort to find him.

Jane had shot a man in front of a crowd of witnesses. She'd been shot as well – her shoulder still hurt badly, though she stubbornly ignored it.

All the mess they'd been through – her suspension, the team getting reassigned, Jane going to trial – turned out to be nothing more than a storm in a teacup.

_Much ado about nothing_ – exactly like Shakespeare's play.

She could barely keep herself from shouting hysterically. From breaking down and crying.

Except that Teresa Lisbon never cried.

So what she did was burying her head into the cushions of her sofa in a desperate attempt to shut out the rest of the world just for an evening.

She was going to think things out tomorrow. All she asked for was another night's rest – that was all.


	5. Home

_**Author's**__** note: **written for the Prompt Table activity on the Paint It Red Forum - prompt: "Home"_

_(episode tag to 4x10 - "Fugue in Red")_

* * *

**Home**

"_I'm sorry."_

He didn't answer as the weight of the burden he'd almost forgotten about threatened to break him.

This was his house. His _home_.

The place where his most beloved family had been brutally slaughtered by a monster. A monster he'd unwisely taunted – out of pride and sheer foolishness.

He was the one who should have paid for it. Not his wife and child – the only beautiful, pure things he'd ever had in his life.

It took him a while to gather himself. To actually be grateful to Lisbon for what she'd done for his sake.

She had took him home. Brought him back to the single purpose that really mattered to him.

That's exactly why he still kept the house – still kept that ominous bloody smiley painted on the empty bedroom's wall.

He needed it as a reminder of his goal. As well as the fact that he could never have a real home again.

Living alone in an impersonal motel room was more than he deserved anyway.


	6. Key moment

_**Author's**__** note: **written for the Prompt Table activity on the Paint It Red Forum - prompt: "Key moment"_

_(episode tag to 4x24 - "The Crimson Hat")_

* * *

**Key moment**

"_Good luck, Teresa. Love you."_

When he followed her into the office last thing she was expecting was his warm embrace.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly.

She'd missed him so much.

Looked like he'd missed her too after all.

Then he told her _those_ words, and… well, her brain stilled just for a moment.

For deep down she'd always known that she cared for him more than the rest of her team. She felt that he needed someone to keep him grounded. To pick up the pieces of his broken soul.

Despite everything they'd been through – or maybe exactly because of that – he might even be her best friend as a matter of fact.

Part of her really hoped she was more to him than just another pawn in the twisted game of chess he kept on playing with Red John.

And now he'd said it.

She hadn't the slightest idea of what he'd actually meant with his _love you_ words. And, for the time being, she found that she couldn't care less.

Whether he loved her as a friend, as a sort of sibling, or perhaps as something entirely different… well, that didn't change the basic fact.

_He cared for her. _

That was more than enough right now.


	7. Holding hands

_**Author's**__** note: **written for the Prompt Table activity on the Paint It Red Forum - prompt: "Holding hands"  
_

_(set after the season finale - the quote at the beginning is taken from 4x24: "The Crimson Hat")  
_

* * *

**Holding hands**

"_You all right?"_

"_Yeah, I'm fine. Never better."_

She didn't ask this time – like she had done that day in Vegas. Yet her hand slipping into his own told him pretty much the same.

He squeezed it gently, in order to convey his actual feelings. He was fine – couldn't be otherwise when she was still there at his side.

His gaze swept absent-mindedly over the dead body lying on the floor.

_It was really over this time._

Much to his surprise he found he didn't care about which hand had fired the bullet that actually killed the man. Couldn't care less – really.

Red John was dead, period.

Lisbon followed him meekly as he stepped out of the shadows of the run-down warehouse and into the bright sun of the morning.

He felt something strangely akin to elation running through his veins. Could this actually be the freedom he'd almost forgotten about?

The freedom to do whatever he wanted with his own life. To be a man again – instead of the mere ghost of it.

His mind vaguely registered that not only the whole team – Cho, Rigsby, Van Pelt – but even Darcy and her men were purposely ignoring the fact that he and Lisbon were still holding hands.

They might have not overcome their issues about him yet, but they esteemed the woman too much to venture any awkward remarks – or even glances, for that matter.

He wouldn't let go of her hand anyway. As much as he wouldn't be willing to stop breathing.

Judging from the grip of her fingers, she wasn't going to let him go anytime soon either.


	8. At the movies

_**Author's**__** note: **written for the Prompt Table activity on the Paint It Red Forum - prompt: "At the movies"_

___(set in the future - the quote at the beginning is taken from 2x11: "Rose Colored Glasses")_

* * *

**At the movies**

"_Obviously, you want to dance."_

"_With you? No."_

"_Oh, come on. You can pretend that I'm that mean, cold-hearted guy that you used to worship from afar, but never talked to."_

"_No funny stuff."_

That's pretty much how things had gone even this time. No matter if the subject at hand was going to the movies instead of dancing.

(She still had a very fond memory of the first time they had danced together, but there was no way she was going to tell him _that._)

So here they were – watching the movie without actually doing as much as touching each other with a fingertip.

Maybe Jane had taken her warning way too literally. She would be comfortable with him wrapping an arm around her shoulders or something like that.

Shrugging she turned her attention back to the screen. This whole boyfriend and girlfriend stuff always felt a bit odd for the two of them.

(Strictly speaking he was more of her _fiancé_ rather than her boyfriend – since he had made it clear right from the start that he actually intended to marry her as soon as possible.

She didn't like neither of those labels though. He was Jane and she was Lisbon, that was all.)

Well, she recalled doing much harder things than that. They were going to find their own pace, she was sure of it.

When she laid her head against his shoulder – a sigh of contentment escaping from her lips – she felt his hand gently stroking her hair.

Maybe – just for this once – he was simply waiting for her to make the first move.

Her brain suggested that they should go for an ice cream after the movie. She figured he would taste so good with chocolate and vanilla…


	9. Family

_**Author's**__** note: **written for the Prompt Table activity on the Paint It Red Forum - author's choice of prompt  
_

___(set in the future - the quote at the beginning is taken from 4x06: "Where in the World is Carmine O'Brien?")_

* * *

**Family**

"_Nicely done, Lisbon family."_

Family bonds were clearly something that really mattered to Teresa. Seeing her work side by side with her brother and niece had shown him as much.

That's why he felt he owed some member of the Lisbon family that phone call.

He had chosen Annie just for the fun of it.

(Well, this and his secret hope that the teenager would be so understanding as to break the news to her father and uncles as well. He had a feeling that they might not take it exactly well, to put it mildly.)

Luckily Annie picked up the phone herself – sparing him from the bother to work out a suitable excuse in order to talk to her.

"Hi, kid. How are you?"

"Who's there?"

"I'm Patrick. Patrick Jane – your aunt's consultant. Do you remember me?"

"Yeah. Well, I actually recall aunt Reese arguing with my dad about you some weeks ago. What have you done this time?"

"Do you mean what I've done now or a couple of weeks ago?"

He heard the teenager sigh at the other end of the phone. "Do I really want to know any of those things?"

"That's entirely up to you. You could always hang up the phone, you know."

"Just go ahead and say it. I guess that's exactly why you called anyway."

An amused smile formed on his lips. "I'm afraid to tell you that your father was probably trying to dissuade your aunt from getting entangled with the likes of me."

"Are you two together then? I suspected as much."

"Well, yes and no."

He nearly chuckled at Annie's bewildered silence.

"What do you mean? Did she broke up with you?"

"I can't see why she should be the one to break up with me. Couldn't it be the other way?"

"Don't think so."

"We didn't break up anyway – so that you know. Quite the opposite as a matter of fact."

Her sharp intake of breath didn't escape his notice. He smiled again.

"Meaning that…?"

"We got married earlier this morning. I even managed to avoid being shot from the members of your aunt's team – as I kindly requested from them to attend our wedding. You know, we actually needed a best man and a maid of honor – along with someone who would give the bride away."

"You… you… I can't believe it! Why didn't you tell us?"

"Maybe because I simply couldn't wait for Teresa to finally be my wife."

Annie seemed to ponder on this news for a while.

"You two going somewhere on your honeymoon?"

"Yeah. We'd like to take a trip around California or something. As far as no gruesome murder happens in the meanwhile, I guess."

"Okay. I hope I'll be able to talk some sense into my dad before you come back. Not really sure if I can do the same with my uncles as well."

"I appreciate this. Really. Thank you very much."

"Shut up. I'm doing it solely for aunt Reese's sake."

Jane chuckled merrily this time. "You know what, Annie?"

"What should I know?"

"I'm you uncle as well now."

Annie hung up on him without a second thought.

As he headed upstairs in order to check up on his lovely wife a wide grin spread on his face.

He was going to love the fact of being a part of the Lisbon family so much…


	10. Precious time

_**Author's**__** note: **written for the Prompt Table activity on the Paint It Red Forum - author's choice of prompt  
_

___(set in the future - the quote at the beginning is taken from 3x24: "Strawberries and Cream")_

* * *

**Precious time**

"_Seeking revenge is a waste of your precious time. Your life is precious Patrick. Get on with that precious life. Find yourself a woman to love, start a family."_

"_When you're dead."_

He had never told her about the words he'd exchanged with Timothy Carter.

Never – until the evening before.

She wondered what had prompted him to do so.

He'd already moved on with his life. Red John was dead – the real one this time – and they'd been married for three months now.

It wasn't always easy, but she though they were reasonably happy – as happy as any other couple could be.

Absent-mindedly she ran her fingers on his peaceful features. He looked younger when he was asleep – momentarily free from the burden of his past.

A burden which hadn't magically disappeared of course – though he'd quite managed to put it at rest.

She snuggled closer and started trailing soft kisses all over his face. At the corner of his lips, on his nose, in the place where his unruly curls met his brow.

Her husband stirred slightly and wrapped an arm around her waist.

In a short while he was wide awake and kissing her back.

Teresa hummed appreciatively when his lips wandered to her neck – just below her ear.

"Morning, honey."

His husky whisper sent shivers down her spine. She buried her fingers into his silky hair.

"Moring, sleepyhead."

She couldn't tell how much she was glad that Patrick was finally able to sleep properly at night. That didn't prevent her from teasing him lightly whenever he woke up later than she did.

They exchanged more sweet caresses, until she eventually noticed that part of his mind was clearly somewhere else.

It wasn't on Angela and Charlotte though. She could always tell when he was thinking about them.

Curiosity got the better of her at last. So she propped on her elbow and carefully surveyed the strange look in his eyes.

"Are you trying to get a reading on me?"

Patrick looked absolutely amused at this thought. She shrugged casually.

"Why not?"

"Okay. Go ahead. What am I thinking right now?"

"Apart from the unspeakable things you'd like to do to me?"

He grinned. "Yeah, apart from that."

Teresa tilted her head to one side. "You're thinking about something related to your past."

"Hm. Yes and no. Try again."

"Something… related both to your past and to us."

"You're getting closer. Go on."

She took a good look at his face. "Has it something to do with what you told me yesterday evening?"

His expression changed ever so slightly, giving him away. She must have hit the mark this time.

A slight frown knitted her brow as she played those words in her head once again.

"_Your life is precious… find yourself a woman… start a family."_

A family. This could be it.

Wait a moment. This meant – could mean – just one thing.

Her eyes widened as the unexpected revelation sunk in – while he was obviously intent on studying her reaction.

"You're thinking about having a baby?", she double-checked quite breathlessly.

"Only if you want it too, Teresa."

Suddenly she felt a lump in her throat. She had always thought that – after what had happened to his previous family – Patrick wouldn't certainly relish the prospect of being a father again. No matter how much he still loved kids.

Well, she'd been wrong. She'd been wrong also in assuming that she would never want to have any children.

Unable to find her own voice she affectionately brushed her lips on his instead.

She was absolutely sure that her husband would get her meaning all the same…


End file.
